Comments for Deep Water: Teaching Writing Inside Prison http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com One cannot deny the humanity of another without diminishing one’s own. -- James Baldwin Tue, 13 Oct 2009 05:34:18 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Happy Day to All by littlehouseintheswamp http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/happy-day-to-all/#comment-103 littlehouseintheswamp Tue, 13 Oct 2009 05:34:18 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=297#comment-103 Thoughtful, eloquent, concise and gorgeous. Great post, Erika. I'm glad you're back to blogging. Thoughtful, eloquent, concise and gorgeous. Great post, Erika. I’m glad you’re back to blogging.

]]> Comment on From the ferry: 10/1/09 by Cindy http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/from-the-ferry-10109/#comment-99 Cindy Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:01:43 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=295#comment-99 Erika, That was an extremely thought-provoking post. I could feel your moral and emotional dilemma. I think you have courage of spirit to do this work at all, when so many, as you know, want to judge you for helping those behind bars. This particular man's crimes may be more heinous than most of the crimes committed by other member's of the group, but if in any little way, you bring humanity to his existence, I think you help to honor life, ALL life, including any lives he may have taken. That is part of what you do for the others and so, in continuing to do this work, you shall do it for him also. It's an amazing contribution to humanity, even if you do struggle with it. I'm proud of you. Cindy Erika,

That was an extremely thought-provoking post. I could feel your moral and emotional dilemma. I think you have courage of spirit to do this work at all, when so many, as you know, want to judge you for helping those behind bars. This particular man’s crimes may be more heinous than most of the crimes committed by other member’s of the group, but if in any little way, you bring humanity to his existence, I think you help to honor life, ALL life, including any lives he may have taken. That is part of what you do for the others and so, in continuing to do this work, you shall do it for him also. It’s an amazing contribution to humanity, even if you do struggle with it.

I’m proud of you.

Cindy

]]> Comment on From the ferry: 10/1/09 by islandwriter http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/from-the-ferry-10109/#comment-98 islandwriter Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:14:21 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=295#comment-98 Thanks, Melissa. It seems a constant internal battle to decide to keep trying to have an open heart about the right ALL people (which I do think I inherently believe, even if that belief feels challenged at this point) have to tell a story. You phrased it well--giving in to the fear continues the crime. I appreciate that insight. Thanks, Melissa. It seems a constant internal battle to decide to keep trying to have an open heart about the right ALL people (which I do think I inherently believe, even if that belief feels challenged at this point) have to tell a story. You phrased it well–giving in to the fear continues the crime. I appreciate that insight.

]]> Comment on From the ferry: 10/1/09 by Melissa Varnavas http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/from-the-ferry-10109/#comment-97 Melissa Varnavas Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:51:53 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=295#comment-97 I was sorry I missed your lecture before, now I'm very sad for missing it. Profound analysis of the writing itself being the space, the writing itself being the thing that keeps you safe. . . Interesting too how you come to the conclusion that giving in to fear would be, in itself, continuing the crime. I was sorry I missed your lecture before, now I’m very sad for missing it. Profound analysis of the writing itself being the space, the writing itself being the thing that keeps you safe. . . Interesting too how you come to the conclusion that giving in to fear would be, in itself, continuing the crime.

]]> Comment on Apr 21, 2009 – Strangers and Loved Ones by islandwriter http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/the-better-man-a-former-inmate-writes-of-life-on-the-outside/apr-21-2009-strangers-and-loved-ones/#comment-77 islandwriter Tue, 02 Jun 2009 22:55:32 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?page_id=258#comment-77 Better Man, You'll see my post about important I think this issue is that you've raised. If you were ever inclined it might be interesting for you talk about the grooming process many of these perpetrators use to become closer to their victims. It may have been something you talked about while in therapy? Even if it isn't something particular to your situation? Also just wanted to add that you aren't the only one that doesn't speak out on this topic. Many of us can think of instances were we stayed silent. Partly I think because we want to be sure before we accuse someone...maybe. I've wrestled with this issue myself and constantly worry that my silence may have drastically impacted someone's life. Better Man,
You’ll see my post about important I think this issue is that you’ve raised. If you were ever inclined it might be interesting for you talk about the grooming process many of these perpetrators use to become closer to their victims. It may have been something you talked about while in therapy? Even if it isn’t something particular to your situation?

Also just wanted to add that you aren’t the only one that doesn’t speak out on this topic. Many of us can think of instances were we stayed silent. Partly I think because we want to be sure before we accuse someone…maybe. I’ve wrestled with this issue myself and constantly worry that my silence may have drastically impacted someone’s life.

]]> Comment on Apr 14, 2009 – Panic by Cindy http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/the-better-man-a-former-inmate-writes-of-life-on-the-outside/apr-14-2009-panic/#comment-72 Cindy Sun, 17 May 2009 15:54:10 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?page_id=245#comment-72 You are not a crumpled coward, Better Man, you are a sensitive human being. And you are a better man, better than most, from what I've been reading. I certainly understand your panic attacks, having suffered with them for much of my life. Although I've never been in prison, I do understand the intimidation of the cops' flashing lights. And although cops generally are here to protects us, sometimes they abuse their power just because they have the power. I understand your panic reaction, I understand your nearly sucking your thumb. Don't be so hard on yourself. Look, I don't know anything about prisoners, but I have been reading some of your posts in which you continually refer to yourself as a Sex Offender who deserves to suffer and who has been trying to re-think his fantasies and other issues so as to be a better man. I read your post about being taught in prison how teenagers think and so any sexual act with them, even if it was consensual, really wasn't consensual since they are too "young" to comprehend what they're doing and there is a power differential. Well, overall, that may be true, but I wanted to tell you a story, from the 14 year old girl perspective. When I was that age, my best friend and I made a sport of how many "older men" we could have sexual relationships with. We felt it was a high mark in our own books of self esteem and attraction if we could find a grown man who found us sexually attractive. Yes, we were young and stupid, but given our own desires, the sexual act was mutual. And we felt as grown up as anyone, we felt we knew what we were getting into. In some ways we were lucky. Nobody was raped. No man ever kept going if we ever said no. I'm not advocating this kind of sexual experience for young people or saying you should feel totally okay with what you did, but I am saying this: there is a certain age when teenagers become sexual beings and they have sex all over the place, with all kinds of people, at all different stages of life and I believe that is a natural choice for them even if our legal system calls it a crime. The law tries to protect them from rapists and predators, understandably, but the line between true consent and sexual offense is fuzzy in a moral sense (even if it's black and white in a legal sense) - what you may have done is no different than what my friends and I were doing when we were young collecting a notches in our belts. So, I'm not advocating you do it again, but I am advocating this: Don't be quite so hard on yourself. You are a better man. You are not a crumpled coward, Better Man, you are a sensitive human being. And you are a better man, better than most, from what I’ve been reading. I certainly understand your panic attacks, having suffered with them for much of my life. Although I’ve never been in prison, I do understand the intimidation of the cops’ flashing lights. And although cops generally are here to protects us, sometimes they abuse their power just because they have the power. I understand your panic reaction, I understand your nearly sucking your thumb. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Look, I don’t know anything about prisoners, but I have been reading some of your posts in which you continually refer to yourself as a Sex Offender who deserves to suffer and who has been trying to re-think his fantasies and other issues so as to be a better man. I read your post about being taught in prison how teenagers think and so any sexual act with them, even if it was consensual, really wasn’t consensual since they are too “young” to comprehend what they’re doing and there is a power differential.

Well, overall, that may be true, but I wanted to tell you a story, from the 14 year old girl perspective. When I was that age, my best friend and I made a sport of how many “older men” we could have sexual relationships with. We felt it was a high mark in our own books of self esteem and attraction if we could find a grown man who found us sexually attractive. Yes, we were young and stupid, but given our own desires, the sexual act was mutual. And we felt as grown up as anyone, we felt we knew what we were getting into. In some ways we were lucky. Nobody was raped. No man ever kept going if we ever said no. I’m not advocating this kind of sexual experience for young people or saying you should feel totally okay with what you did, but I am saying this: there is a certain age when teenagers become sexual beings and they have sex all over the place, with all kinds of people, at all different stages of life and I believe that is a natural choice for them even if our legal system calls it a crime. The law tries to protect them from rapists and predators, understandably, but the line between true consent and sexual offense is fuzzy in a moral sense (even if it’s black and white in a legal sense) – what you may have done is no different than what my friends and I were doing when we were young collecting a notches in our belts.
So, I’m not advocating you do it again, but I am advocating this: Don’t be quite so hard on yourself. You are a better man.

]]> Comment on Better Man writes from the outside by kollmans http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/04/29/better-man-writes-from-the-outside/#comment-69 kollmans Tue, 05 May 2009 19:59:22 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=217#comment-69 I have read what has already been posted. And I will continue to read the posts. I think its very cool. I have read what has already been posted. And I will continue to read the posts. I think its very cool.

]]> Comment on A conversation worth a listen… by islandwriter http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/04/07/a-conversation-worth-a-listen/#comment-68 islandwriter Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:20:17 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=202#comment-68 Judy, the link within the post is updated. Thanks for the reminder. And THANKS! for the plug on the PI site -- that's great. I'll look into what it takes to get connected with them. Seems like a great opportunity. Stay in touch! Erika Judy, the link within the post is updated. Thanks for the reminder. And THANKS! for the plug on the PI site — that’s great. I’ll look into what it takes to get connected with them. Seems like a great opportunity.

Stay in touch!
Erika

]]> Comment on A conversation worth a listen… by freestylevolunteer http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/04/07/a-conversation-worth-a-listen/#comment-67 freestylevolunteer Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:36:08 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=202#comment-67 Erika, good to get your message. If you could also update the link within your post - I'm no longer at Blogspot - that would be great. I'm at http://freestylevolunteer.wordpress.com. If you haven't read the P-I online yet, check out today's. In my post today (scroll down 1 screen) I quote from your blog. You might want to send the P-I an offer to link up your blog with their online editions. I think they're looking for more writers on humanitarian and volunteer topics. Erika, good to get your message. If you could also update the link within your post – I’m no longer at Blogspot – that would be great. I’m at http://freestylevolunteer.wordpress.com.

If you haven’t read the P-I online yet, check out today’s. In my post today (scroll down 1 screen) I quote from your blog. You might want to send the P-I an offer to link up your blog with their online editions. I think they’re looking for more writers on humanitarian and volunteer topics.

]]> Comment on A conversation worth a listen… by islandwriter http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/2009/04/07/a-conversation-worth-a-listen/#comment-66 islandwriter Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:51:48 +0000 http://teachingontheinside.wordpress.com/?p=202#comment-66 Hi Judy, Thanks for visiting the blog. When you are up and working with prisoners please come back and post comments often (or before then if you like). I would love for this blog to become more of a "conversation". Also, I updated your link (find it in the blog roll) so that folks can find your current website on freestyle volunteering -- still one of the best ideas I've come across in a long time. Best, Erika Hi Judy,
Thanks for visiting the blog. When you are up and working with prisoners please come back and post comments often (or before then if you like). I would love for this blog to become more of a “conversation”. Also, I updated your link (find it in the blog roll) so that folks can find your current website on freestyle volunteering — still one of the best ideas I’ve come across in a long time.
Best,
Erika

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